Insight To Chaos

Today was a new experience. Today I went to my first casting call. This is something that I’ve been more or less afraid of for the last few years. Mostly because it’s easier to say I want to do something than to actually do it. Now, I can’t be sure why I was afraid exactly, but I was. In the last year I made a promise to myself that I would no longer bitch about something in my life unless I was willing to change it. Today was my second biggest change. And I liked it. I proved myself right. Once I got over my fear making something a reality, I was okay. Nervous, but okay. To be clear, I didn’t get the part. I knew there was a very high chance that I wouldn’t, and I also knew that I might be dissapointed if in fact the casting directors made the ignorant choice not to go with me. But when I left today, I felt more driven, more focused, and most important more confident in myself. I did a damn good job bye the way, and those casting directors were – quite frankly – on crack. But the best part of my story is that I’m not scared of the possibilities anymore. Right or wrong, I know my path. It’s gonna be a crazy one, I know. But I love it. I guess the moral of the story here, boys and girls, is that dreams are only scary if perceived that way. 9 times out of 10 the reality is way better. Oh, and seriously, I kicked ass and those directors of “casting” just couldn’t handle me kicking so much ass. I am a strong, black, woman who isn’t…no…wait…okay well maybe not. But I am stronger for the experience. So cheers to them, cheers to me, cheers to everyone else who has the balls to face the crowd and roll…