Insight To Chaos

I don’t know what I did to you to end this. It all seems pretty childish to silently end things this way, but it appears that’s how you want it. Really it’s probably for the better anyway. We were toxic. It’s sad how clear it all is now. It’s sad that I still miss you. Essentially, without even knowing it, so long ago, I replaced one noxious relationship with another. Without meaning to, I let you be a replacement for all that was lacking in my life. I never should have put so much pressure on our friendship. It was true for the both of us though. A very strange pair. When we weren’t right, I wasn’t right. I don’t know, I feel most of the blame, but I shouldn’t – as I do think you played as equal a part. I think we were for each other what we needed. All those years…
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of you. I wish you would talk to me. If for nothing else then to just finish it off. To think, after all these years and all the crap we put each other through, it would end like this. Fitting I suppose. For the record, I didn’t do those things with which you accused me of. No matter how many stories you told, how many assumptions you made, you were wrong. Maybe it made it easier for you to be done. If that’s what it took, perhaps it’s for the better then.
I’m done. You’ve pushed me aside and left me guessing for the last time. I’m not waiting anymore. But it doesn’t matter. It’s hard letting go. Habits – good or bad – can be quite troublesome to break…