Insight To Chaos

As of tomorrow, it’ll be 8 months since I quit smoking. That’s 2 months more than I made it last time I quit. I’d like to think that this means I good and done, but I don’t know. I’ve come to the conclusion that nicotine is a coping device…that I miss terribly. Basically, it’s a deal – you get to live your life with a little less stress, but in return you get asthma or worse. I need perspective and I can’t find it. I weigh the positives and negatives and find that the heavy is on the wrong side. Don’t get me wrong, breathing is a lot better in the last few months. It’s everything else that’s a problem. Like I said, I need perspective. I’m not blaming all of my problems on the habit, it’s just a bit coincidental how much has…um…changed since I quit. I am blessed for so many things in my life. I just can’t seem to find the answers the way I once was able to. So – 8 months. Here’s to clean lungs and a screwy mind….